Put a smile on your face, or better yet, laugh!

Well this has been a fantastic day so far, except for the AC not working as well as it should (either that or it’s way too hot outside).  Just found out that my soda maker will arrive on the twenty seventh, though I won’t be here to collect it!  I’m off to DC on the twenty fifth, and after just one day in Denver on the thirtieth, I get to hit the road for another few days to the beautiful city of Milwaukee (beautiful?  How do I know that!  I’ve actually never been there!).  Anyway, I get to find out real soon – I just love the Midwest, especially the people there, so there is some sort of a bias going on, though it’s the good type of bias that can sometimes get you in bigger trouble than the other kind if you know what I mean!

 

Enough about that.  Below is something sent out by a friend a while ago.  Since I’m thinking of switching gears to the legal profession sometime between now and the day I die, I figured this may be appropriate to post here.  These are things people presumably said in court.  I can’t deny myself having put my foot in my mouth this way – especially in light of the fact that my mouth rarely closes itself.  It’s like the guy who was telling his friend “you know Jack, I haven’t talked to my wife in 18 months”.  “Why is that!” Jack asks?  “Well, I just don’t like to interrupt her!”.

 

On to the forward.  Have a blessed day.

 

 

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  These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court."
 
   These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
 
   ---------------------------------------------------------
 
   Q: What is your date of birth?
   A: July fifteenth.
 
   Q: What year?
   A: Every year.
 
   __________________________________________________________________
 
   Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
   A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
 
   Q: And why did that upset you?
   A: My name is Susan.
   ____________________________________________________________________
 
   Q: And where was the location of the accident?
   A: Approximately milepost 499.
 
 
   Q: And where is milepost 499?
   A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
 
   ____________________________________________________________________
 
   Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
   ____________________________________________________________________
 
   Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
 
   __________________________________________________________________
 
   Q: She had three children, right?
   A: Yes.
 
   Q: How many were boys?
   A: None.
   Q: Were there any girls?
   ____________________________________________________________________
   Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
   A: By death.
   Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
   _______________________________________________________________
   Q: Can you describe the individual?
   A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
   Q: Was this a male or a female?
   ____________________________________________________________________
 
   Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
   A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
   ____________________________________________________________________
 
   Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
   A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
 
   Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
   A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
   ____________________________________________________________________
 
   Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
   A: No.
 
   Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
   A: No.
 
   Q: Did you check for breathing?
   A: No.